Buffalo gal won't you come out tonight?

   There is a scene in Jurassic Park in which a scientist and a child take refuge high in a tree from genetically regenerated dinosaurs. A long-necked dinosaur, a diplodocus I think, sticks it head into the tree, frightening the child. But the scientist offers the reassuring advice that they need not worry because this species is herbivorous and won't harm them.
   What a maroon! What a ignoranamus!
   Here's a question for the "scientist": can you name a herbivore that routinely attacks people? How about a Cape buffalo? Maybe a hippopotamus? Rhinoceros? But these are all African herbivores and we all know that African wildlife is way more dangerous that American wildlife. Right?
   The point is, many people have impressions formed by popular culture or even by "science" that are simply not true. Just watch the behavior of even college graduates who try the patience of harmless herbivores in the national parks. Like humans in a crowded elevator, animals may briefly tolerate intrusions into their personal space. Briefly. Common herbivores like elk cows defending their calves or bull elk and moose hopped up on testosterone can become, well, a little testy.
   I raise the issue because many tourists who are frightened by a harmless garter snake do not hesitate to run right up to get a selfie with a 2,000-pound bull bison. When you have the leisure, you might google some YouTube videos such as "bison goring in Yellowstone." A guy getting tossed way up into a tree makes for impressive viewing. At least this herbivore was not trying to get him out of the tree.
   National parks, especially in the West, post hundreds of signs advising visitors not to approach wildlife. And then, all season long, rangers devote a high percentage of each day to getting people to back off and return to their vehicles. Then, while the ranger is busy with other visitors, the original offenders go right back to what they were doing. Way too many of them get what they deserve. No. I apologize. That's just not charitable. True but not charitable.
   In Yellowstone, some visitors hesitate to take a little walk on a park trail because they might get eaten by a bear. What they probably don't know is that bison injure or kill far more visitors than bears do. First, there are far more bison than bears so, statistically, there is a much higher probability of seeing bison feeding in large numbers right out in the open. Bears are more solitary and do most of their feeding where you are not likely to see them. But if you do come upon a bear feeding you are already in big, big trouble.
   And here is some more errant pedantry for you. While you are watching those bison goring tourist YouTube videos, notice how many people on the audio are referring to them as "buffaloes." There are no buffaloes in North America. A mere technicality, perhaps, but a technicality scientists want to hammer home by being redundant. A bison's taxonomic name is Bison bison. (More about that near the end.)
   Just for the sake of still more pedantry, while you are Googling bison attacks, check out Gene Autry singing "Buffalo gal won't you come out tonight, to dance by the light of the moon." Viewers of his 1950 classic Cow Town ("classic" used very loosely here) might reasonably assume that the buffalo reference is somehow connected to the animal--as in Buffalo Bill. Au contraire as we pedants say. The Buffalo reference in the song is to the city in New York. And that dancing is done by the music hall gals of questionable virtue in a certain questionable part of town. So, the pretty girl in the movie really should not look so flattered and pleased with herself. Now, ain't you amazed?
   I hope you are just as amazed by the photos.

Bison jams are so popular with Yellowstone rangers because tourists always behave responsibly.

Come on, Sweety, get a little closer. Don't be such a woos.

The calf might not hurt you but Momma certainly will.

That's Soda Butte Creek, one of our favorite places to fish.

Not on this day.

Even great bulls can look like docile, lazy, slow-moving critters.

How's this for a closeup?  We've watched people with expensive, long lenses push their cameras right in the faces of specimens like this. Evidently they have no idea what "zoom" means.

A bison was staying in his lane but a young man, all hopped on testosterone no doubt, leaned out of the bed of a pickup truck and smacked him hard on the rump. 

He might not have done that if he had been looking the big boy in the face.

A dust bath helps limit bug infestation.

It's also a chance to impress lady bison--and tourists who think you are slow and awkward-- with just how quickly you can jump to your feet.

Hayden Valley and Lamar Valley in Yellowstone are good places to look for herds.

At Theodore Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota they wandered right through the campground.

In Grand Teton National Park, Antelope Flats and the meadow near the Buffalo Entrance Station are where you want to be. (See, even the Park Service misuses the term.)

A ranger gave us two pieces of useful information: bison could jump over that fence if they chose; they usually prefer to just bust right through it. Then he took our picture. Do we look like fools or what?  (That's just a rhetorical question. You need not answer.)

Newborn calves develop speed and agility conducting mock battles in preparation for adulthood.

Also engage in other forms of mock behavior in preparation for....

Bison jams can occur in places you might not expect--like the Alaska Highway.

These are wood bison, not to be confused with the prairie bison in the Lower 48. Taxonomists can get a little carried away with their redundancies. The prairie bison we see in the movies is not just double but triple--Bison bison bison! The wood bison is Bison bison athabascae. I can't tell them apart. 

Perhaps its the distinctive haircut.

But kids are kids all over the world.